Ok but what is shadow work? Why for the full moon?
In so many different cultures there are references to a balance between two sides: yin and yang, dark and light, good and evil. We all need balance within us. Carl Jung coined the term 'shadow' and used it in reference to hidden parts of our being. Very broadly speaking it doesn't necessarily mean it's something negative, but our shadow is like subconscious clutter - things that get in our way and prevent us from being the best version of ourselves that we can be, and the things that we generally hide from others - our fears, insecurities, vulnerabilities etc. There is a great article about it here if you want to read a little more and understand it better. There is a parable I heard on 'The One You Feed' podcast which for me sums this up very well.
A grandfather is talking with his grandson. The grandfather says, “In life, there are two wolves inside of us which are always at battle. One is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery, and love. The other is a bad wolf which represents things like greed, hatred, and fear”. The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?” The grandfather replies, “The one you feed.”
From my perspective I think of shadow work as facing the shadows that lurk in the corners of my psyche - facing the bad wolf, trying to understand it and tame it. I face my shadows head on during the full moon, which is a time for letting go. Light work is the opposite. It's about feeding your good wolf. Filling your soul with things that light you up so you shine like the diamond you are. I like to do this during the New Moon, which is a time for intention setting - it's like a blank slate. I like tying my rituals in with the phases of the moon because it gives me a sense of time passing and makes me feel more in tune with nature because in our chaotic world and screens I firmly believe that anything that can keep us in touch with and in tune with nature can only be good for our mental health.
Shadow work can be pretty gnarly and bring up a lot of feels and memories so it is vitally important you don't address things on your own if you think it will be too much - it can be great to work through some of these with a therapist. ALWAYS approach shadow work from a place of self-love and self acceptance while you work towards making peace with your shadow, and stop letting it get in your way.
Here are some journaling prompts for you to think about while doing your own shadow work
In what ways were your thoughts or feelings invalidated as a child?
If you could go back 5 years, what would you do differently and why?
What scares you when you think about the future? What could you do to ease those fears a little?
What traits in others do you wish you had?
Do you allow yourself to be vulnerable? Why or why not?
How are you letting yourself down at the moment?
What are you feeling most resistance towards right now?
When was the last time you felt truly heard? How did it feel?
How have your hurts affected you? how and where do you carry them in your life and physical body?
What makes you put yourself down, hide or censor yourself? Why?
What words would hurt you the most if someone used them to describe you? Why does that hurt you so much?
What is a bad memory from your childhood? how did your parents or guardians respond? were you cared for? were your needs met?
If you feel you lack courage, explore the reasons why you may feel you are missing it. Were you encouraged to take safe paths and play small by others who lived their lives from a base of fear? Did you experience a setback that made you scared to reach out again?
What do you wish you could change about your childhood? Why?
What memory brings you the most shame? Where do you feel it in your body and how can you transform it to loving self-acceptance?
Is there someone in your life you are struggling to forgive? Write them a letter telling them everything you want to say. You don't have to post it, just writing it out is a way to help you process it. You can delete it or burn it if you want to. Forgiveness is more for you and your own peace of mind than it is for them.
What is an early childhood guilt that has stuck with you into adulthood? why do you think that is?
If the most tense part of your body could speak, what would it say to you?
As a child what were you taught about spirituality? How has it served you? How might you adapt your views to serve you better?
What was a time that you felt rejected or betrayed? How has that affected you? How might you heal from this?
What is something that has damaged your view of relationships?
What is a challenge in your life that you want to work on?
What is something that makes you feel uncomfortable? How might you overcome this?
What was a time you were treated unfairly as a child? Has this affected you into adulthood? How? What can you do to make yourself feel more empowered? What boundaries can you set to ensure you are treated fairly now?
Is there anyone in your life who makes you feel small? How might you take away their power to affect your self-worth?
Are you hard on yourself? what for? why? where do you think that comes from? How could you motivate yourself in a more compassionate loving way?
What feelings of unease have you had lately? Why? what could you do about them?
Does your inner child feel safe to have opinions, to be authentic, to be heard and to express vulnerability? If not why not? What could you do to help your inner child feel safe?
What do you avoid feeling or doing?
Are you treating your body with love and respect? If not why not?
What do you need to start saying no or yes to more often?
Say out loud ‘I have the right to be here and take up space’. How does this make you feel?
If you met yourself for the first time what would your first impression be? Are you happy or unhappy about this? What might you need to work on to improve this? What can you celebrate about this?
What experiences do you have of codependency? Does it serve you?
Who is someone you have trouble communicating with effectively and why do you think this might be?
What are your positive and negative traits?
Which personality traits in others does your head in? why? do you see yourself in any of them?
Which relationships or energetic ties in life no longer serve you? How would it feel to be free of these ties? Will do you do something about this? if not, why not? if so, how so?
How is your self discipline? what areas do you struggle with? how might you improve?
What weird things have you told yourself about life that you don't really believe to be true, but which still influence your choices? Eg 'all successful people have unhappy relationships. Success scares me because I feel I will have no free time to spend with the people I love, so I don't push myself and settle with less than I am capable of, or deserve'
What misconceptions do people often have about you? How does this make you feel?
Describe a time you self-sabotaged. What happened? Why do you think you did it? What safety nets can you put in place to help you stop self-sabotaging in the future?
What personality traits do you envy in others and why?
How do you respond to criticism? Are you overly sensitive to it? How could you work with those who criticise you to turn it into a more productive and positive experience that you can grow from instead of shrink from?
What about yourself makes you feel insecure and why?
What toxic core beliefs do you have that you know you need to let go of and replace with better ones? What is holding you back? How can you let go?
What drains your energy?
What are you trying to protect yourself from? How does this prevent you from moving forward? How can you feel protected and still do the things you want to do?
What are you most disappointed in yourself for doing/being or not doing/being?
Are you living in line with your values and needs, or are you just doing what others expect or want from you?
If you could eliminate one personality trait from yourself what would it be? why? and how do you think your life would be different/better?
What is one thing you need to forgive yourself for? Why? How does it make you feel? How might you feel once you forgive yourself? How can you go about the process of forgiving and healing that part of yourself?
Put your hand on your heart. What does it want you to know?
What in your relationships with others makes you feel unsafe or insecure? How might you address this? What do you need to do in order to feel safe?
What was your experience with bullying as a child? How has this affected you as an adult? What steps can you take to start healing from it? Is there any way you can turn this into something positive?
What is your attitude towards self-love?
Know someone who might be curious about shadow work? It's a bit overwhelming to start so why not share this post with them to give them some ideas for doing their own journaling exercise?
